








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2064 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,159,935 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hefty Joe | 59% | 97 |
| #2 | zrteh | 55% | 82 |
| #3 | Byers™ | 51% | 83 |
| #4 | schraubby | 49% | 118 |
| #5 | World.exe | 49% | 505 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | World.exe | 116 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | carter | 96 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Royal Dr Godfrey Humpback III | 74 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Bacon | 68 | 0.0257 |
| #5 | schraubby | 32 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | World.exe | 1737 | 0.17 | 41 min |
| #2 | schraubby | 620 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | Royal Dr Godfrey Humpback III | 540 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | carter | 332 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bacon | 282 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrteh | +4.21 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | holding | +1.81 | 71 | 31 |
| #3 | Hefty Joe | +0.89 | 64 | 36 |
| #4 | Byers™ | +0.44 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | schraubby | +0.24 | 66 | 63 |





