








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1761 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,249 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrteh | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | schraubby | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Byers™ | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Chris <3 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Hefty Joe | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | World.exe | 48% | 86 |
| #8 | holding | 46% | 135 |
| #9 | carter | 41% | 63 |
| #10 | NinjaTaco | 39% | 41 |
| #11 | RhinoDino | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carter | 31 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | NinjaTaco | 26 | 0.0319 |
| #3 | holding | 25 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | World.exe | 24 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | Royal Dr Godfrey Humpback III | 21 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | World.exe | 394 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | schraubby | 170 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Royal Dr Godfrey Humpback III | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | carter | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chris <3 | 61 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrteh | +4.24 | 54 | 75 |
| #2 | schraubby | +2.90 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | holding | +2.38 | 67 | 29 |
| #4 | Hefty Joe | +1.90 | 58 | 30 |
| #5 | Chris <3 | +1.73 | 42 | 59 |





