










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1580 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 737 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,445 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hefty Joe | 58% | 69 |
| #2 | Bacon | 52% | 83 |
| #3 | zrteh | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Byers™ | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | World.exe | 50% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Byers™ | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | World.exe | 50% | 210 |
| #6 | schraubby | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | holding | 46% | 362 |
| #8 | carter | 41% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carter | 70 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | World.exe | 58 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | holding | 55 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Bacon | 48 | 0.0292 |
| #5 | schraubby | 21 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | World.exe | 867 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | schraubby | 334 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | carter | 231 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bacon | 177 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | holding | 139 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrteh | +5.32 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | holding | +1.85 | 72 | 30 |
| #3 | schraubby | +1.01 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | Hefty Joe | +0.85 | 60 | 41 |
| #5 | World.exe | +0.31 | 48 | 57 |





