








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3851 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3219 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2067 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1792 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,463 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuolit juuri aivovammaiselle | 22 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | guido | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | PepsodentHymy | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | guido2 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ulosottomies | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuolit juuri aivovammaiselle | 723 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | guido | 490 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | N1kama | 308 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | guido2 | 289 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #5 | PepsodentHymy | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |





