








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 21% |
| Smokes | 382 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 344 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 301 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,795 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 67% | 9 | ||
| #2 | Silakka200 | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | ツ | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | zeta | 56% | 9 |
| 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arl1ng | 4 | 0.0038 |
| 4 | 0.0209 | ||
| #3 | Carlos | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | nilo | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Silakka200 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlos | 200 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | arl1ng | 137 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Silakka200 | 126 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | dorffi | 26 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | zeta | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nilo | +7.10 | 86 | 47 |
| +5.76 | 86 | 71 | ||
| #3 | Silakka200 | +2.85 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | dorffi | +2.44 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Carlos | +0.87 | 48 | 68 |





