








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1171 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1812 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,898 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 746 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caisse d'assurance maladie | 51% | 85 |
| #2 | Snake-Eyes | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | JIM HOPPER | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | kirito | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | aspropre | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BRIPS | 38% | 47 |
| #8 | MrAR0uN | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | KIKSsI | 36% | 78 |
| #10 | diz | 34% | 29 |
| #11 | sputnik | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRIPS | 15 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | kirito | 7 | 0.0193 |
| #3 | KIKSsI | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Caisse d'assurance maladie | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ELPUEBLO | 6 | 0.0273 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caisse d'assurance maladie | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | JIM HOPPER | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | sputnik | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | BRIPS | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | KIKSsI | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snake-Eyes | +6.84 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | kirito | +6.25 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | ELPUEBLO | +4.30 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | sputnik | +2.95 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | aspropre | +1.68 | 60 | 48 |





