










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 944 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 277 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13312 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11968 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 16030 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 11646 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,684,742 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pko | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 57% | 187 |
| #3 | deNde_ | 56% | 110 |
| #4 | daffY🗲 | 53% | 154 |
| #5 | Dave.^ | 53% | 215 |





