








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 705 matches | ||
| Faceit | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Renown | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 73,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24722 | 34% |
| Smokes | 18065 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 15762 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 14884 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,659,789 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaktusz | 67% | 90 |
| #2 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 58% | 212 |
| #3 | RobertosAmigos | 57% | 115 |
| #4 | deNde_ | 55% | 142 |
| #5 | levi- | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daffY🗲 | 40 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | deNde_ | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | NoTimeToExplain | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | RobertosAmigos | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daffY🗲 | 2033 | 0.18 | 52 min |
| #2 | NoTimeToExplain | 861 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 777 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #4 | levi- | 381 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | deNde_ | 226 | 0.07 | 6 min |





