








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2045 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 947 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 162 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17633 | 31% |
| Smokes | 16610 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 11544 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 11168 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,410,092 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2833 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NoTimeToExplain | 53% | 274 |
| #8 | HB ^v^ | 53% | 157 |
| #9 | Pko | 53% | 522 |
| #10 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 52% | 411 |
| #11 | BENU im gay | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pko | 2250 | 0.20 | 62 min |
| #2 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 1613 | 0.19 | 41 min |
| #3 | NoTimeToExplain | 808 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #4 | HB ^v^ | 465 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #5 | deNde_ | 373 | 0.08 | 10 min |





