








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 599 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 356 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11027 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8460 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8531 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7557 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,726 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | NoTimeToExplain | 52% | 71 |
| #9 | daffY🗲 | 52% | 411 |
| #10 | BENU im gay | 49% | 51 |
| #11 | BigLongRichBoy | 49% | 49 |
| #12 | HB ^v^ | 49% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daffY🗲 | 37 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Pko | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | RobertosAmigos | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | HB ^v^ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | deNde_ | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daffY🗲 | 1706 | 0.20 | 47 min |
| #2 | Pko | 925 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | HB ^v^ | 411 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | RobertosAmigos | 400 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | BigLongRichBoy | 277 | 0.29 | 7 min |





