








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 372 | 15% |
| Smokes | 745 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 817 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,015,725 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DoggoneAtom2568 | 42% | 122 |
| #9 | lucky | 42% | 48 |
| #10 | ductt4pek4v 6k | 42% | 65 |
| #11 | Framton Nuttel | 39% | 85 |
| #12 | Bubbz | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charels | 498 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | DoggoneAtom2568 | 342 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Framton Nuttel | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | xsibord | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | pierre | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |





