








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9237 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6924 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8978 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7490 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,149,754 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaRik | 69% | 54 |
| #2 | kaiser | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | BOogiee | 61% | 117 |
| #4 | mikke ^.- | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | TOmi ^.- | 58% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TOmi ^.- | 58% | 214 |
| #6 | Ares | 57% | 56 |
| #7 | kani | 52% | 58 |
| #8 | jarxy | 50% | 195 |
| #9 | =) | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOogiee | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | TOmi ^.- | 22 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | jarxy | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Ares | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | kaiser | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOmi ^.- | 729 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | BOogiee | 407 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | jarxy | 396 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | kani | 274 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | =) | 232 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +2.10 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | yaRik | +1.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | kaiser | +1.62 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | kani | +1.24 | 90 | 70 |
| #5 | BOogiee | +0.51 | 86 | 56 |





