








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3229 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2973 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 943 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1054 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,592 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Jesta | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Plasto | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | Foop | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | brodie | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Plasto | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | Foop | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | brodie | 44% | 59 |
| #6 | 203128 | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Blues_25 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plasto | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | brodie | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | HK_Jason | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Jesta | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | 203128 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plasto | 507 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jesta | 130 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | brodie | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Foop | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | 203128 | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | +5.18 | 57 | 28 |
| #2 | Plasto | +1.81 | 35 | 48 |
| #3 | Jesta | +0.92 | 37 | 51 |
| #4 | Foop | -0.03 | 7 | 44 |
| #5 | brodie | -0.25 | 12 | 37 |





