








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2926 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 758 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,555 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | 8-Ball Cat | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | brodie | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | Foop | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | 8-Ball Cat | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | brodie | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | Foop | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8-Ball Cat | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | brodie | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | HK_Jason | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8-Ball Cat | 535 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | brodie | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | HK_Jason | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Foop | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | +4.22 | 64 | 36 |
| #2 | Plasto | +1.33 | 35 | 50 |
| #3 | Foop | +0.08 | 7 | 41 |
| #4 | brodie | -0.59 | 9 | 43 |
| #5 | 8-Ball Cat | -1.52 | 21 | 52 |





