








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 669 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 308 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 193 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,018 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | niafoxy❀ | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Foop | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | brodie | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | 8-Ball Cat | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | niafoxy❀ | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Foop | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | brodie | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | 8-Ball Cat | 60% | 30 |
| #6 | Plasto | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8-Ball Cat | 104 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Plasto | 16 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | brodie | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Foop | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | HK_Jason | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HK_Jason | +2.98 | 32 | 8 |
| #2 | Plasto | +2.68 | 44 | 55 |
| #3 | Jesta | +1.04 | 35 | 52 |
| #4 | Foop | +0.27 | 10 | 59 |
| #5 | 8-Ball Cat | -2.07 | 22 | 46 |





