








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 35% |
| Smokes | 519 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,626 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arska | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Rane | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Ebu | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Gurggu | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | EBINITES | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gurggu | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | EBINITES | 51% | 35 |
| #6 | valukka | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | GermanSurfer | 22% | 9 |
| #8 | Miihael | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBINITES | 13 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | valukka | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Gurggu | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | GermanSurfer | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | arska | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBINITES | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | valukka | 59 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | arska | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rane | 27 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ebu | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valukka | +2.04 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Ebu | +1.53 | 52 | 42 |
| #3 | Валттери гей | +1.46 | 69 | 40 |
| #4 | arska | -0.01 | 39 | 48 |
| #5 | Gurggu | -0.44 | 24 | 26 |





