








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3301 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4674 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3091 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,716 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sgucci | 51% | 209 |
| #2 | Stringer Bell | 51% | 150 |
| #3 | Black-Knight | 50% | 338 |
| #4 | Capta1n | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | Syber | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sgucci | 51% | 209 |
| #2 | Stringer Bell | 51% | 150 |
| #3 | Black-Knight | 50% | 338 |
| #4 | Capta1n | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | Syber | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syber | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | sgucci | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Stringer Bell | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Capta1n | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syber | 949 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Stringer Bell | 542 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | sgucci | 420 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 283 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Capta1n | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capta1n | +1.22 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | Black-Knight | +0.89 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | Syber | +0.65 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Nashji | -0.27 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Stringer Bell | -0.58 | 61 | 71 |





