








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3367 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2993 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3858 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,589 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sgucci | 53% | 194 |
| #2 | Black-Knight | 53% | 234 |
| #3 | Ties__ | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Stringer Bell | 51% | 145 |
| #5 | Nashji | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sgucci | 53% | 194 |
| #2 | Black-Knight | 53% | 234 |
| #3 | Ties__ | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Stringer Bell | 51% | 145 |
| #5 | Nashji | 48% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stringer Bell | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Black-Knight | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | sgucci | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Ties__ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Nashji | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stringer Bell | 506 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | sgucci | 429 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Nashji | 400 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 196 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ties__ | 127 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ties__ | +4.07 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Syber | +0.63 | 65 | 56 |
| #3 | Black-Knight | +0.56 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | Nashji | -0.68 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Stringer Bell | -0.87 | 58 | 71 |





