








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2722 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3751 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3520 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3444 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,337 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capta1n | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Syber | 53% | 194 |
| #3 | Stringer Bell | 52% | 183 |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 52% | 212 |
| #5 | Nashji | 51% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capta1n | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Syber | 53% | 194 |
| #3 | Stringer Bell | 52% | 183 |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 52% | 212 |
| #5 | Nashji | 51% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syber | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Stringer Bell | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Black-Knight | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Nashji | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Capta1n | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syber | 668 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Stringer Bell | 654 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Nashji | 334 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Black-Knight | 151 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Capta1n | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capta1n | +2.78 | 61 | 48 |
| #2 | Syber | +1.45 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Black-Knight | +0.96 | 54 | 52 |
| #4 | Nashji | -0.30 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Stringer Bell | -0.50 | 61 | 70 |





