








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 36% |
| Smokes | 363 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,768 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fo0ckie | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Ryan | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | bad | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | GodSnax_CS | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bad | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | GodSnax_CS | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Retro | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bad | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | fo0ckie | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | GodSnax_CS | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | bad | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | fo0ckie | 73 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | +2.77 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | rupx (starting gym soon) | +2.00 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Ryan | +1.20 | 81 | 37 |
| #4 | fo0ckie | -0.17 | 64 | 45 |
| #5 | bad | -0.22 | 81 | 60 |





