








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3786 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2981 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3368 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3695 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,660 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fo0ckie | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 58% | 217 |
| #3 | bad | 57% | 229 |
| #4 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | office mouse | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 58% | 217 |
| #3 | bad | 57% | 229 |
| #4 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | office mouse | 54% | 69 |
| #6 | cp peek💔 | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | bad | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | cp peek💔 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | fo0ckie | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | 464 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | bad | 350 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | office mouse | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | cp peek💔 | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | fo0ckie | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | +2.98 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | rupx (starting gym soon) | +2.00 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | footjobJohnson (new to gym) | +1.48 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | cp peek💔 | +1.19 | 86 | 41 |
| #5 | bad | +0.65 | 73 | 58 |





