








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 185 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2671 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5924 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3528 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,484,775 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | autistic :3 | 55% | 222 |
| #4 | Jarquivious Coleman (Jayquizzy) | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | kepsie | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | autistic :3 | 55% | 222 |
| #4 | Jarquivious Coleman (Jayquizzy) | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | kepsie | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autistic :3 | 51 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | ツ | 13 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | kepsie | 11 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Jarquivious Coleman (Jayquizzy) | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autistic :3 | 899 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | rupx (starting gym soon) | 110 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jarquivious Coleman (Jayquizzy) | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ツ | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | kepsie | 45 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | +4.30 | 83 | 44 |
| #2 | autistic :3 | +3.01 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Kawaii Jeff Buckley | +1.46 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | rupx (starting gym soon) | +0.01 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Jarquivious Coleman (Jayquizzy) | -4.71 | 66 | 43 |





