








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 13% |
| Smokes | 628 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1161 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,926 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX | forte | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | WAX | luh chonka | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | WAX | Zoidberg | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | WAX | DeathByCodie | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Wambo | 39% | 71 |
| #9 | vert | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | EricTheEradicator | 33% | 27 |
| #11 | WAX l nigerian lemur | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | Hillrop | 13% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wambo | 18 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | WAX | Zoidberg | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | WAX | Bread | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | WAX | luh chonka | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX l nigerian lemur | 83 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Wambo | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | WAX | hoody | 62 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | EricTheEradicator | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hillrop | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vert | +5.23 | 80 | 42 |
| #2 | WAX | GreaterNorway | +2.95 | 44 | 39 |
| #3 | WAX | forte | +1.48 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | WAX | Zoidberg | +1.33 | 55 | 19 |
| #5 | WAX l nigerian lemur | +0.65 | 41 | 60 |





