








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1285 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 721 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,555 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX Boys | Nebuchadnezzar | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ✪ toothless-1k | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Pacswam | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | WAX | DeathByCodie | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | kirby | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Wambo | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | WAX | Zoidberg | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | WAX | hoody | 33% | 9 |
| #13 | Hillrop | 25% | 8 |
| #14 | EricTheEradicator | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX Boys | Nebuchadnezzar | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | WAX | stonerboner | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Wambo | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Hillrop | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | 134 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #2 | WAX | Absolute Unit | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | kirby | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pacswam | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX Boys | Nebuchadnezzar | +7.07 | 66 | 48 |
| #2 | ✪ toothless-1k | +4.59 | 39 | 52 |
| #3 | kirby | +3.39 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | Pacswam | +3.22 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | WAX | GreaterNorway | +2.41 | 53 | 33 |





