








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 498 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,245 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharkml | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Stew | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | rgas | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Enemies’ Dad | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | martin666 | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jona | 36% | 33 |
| #12 | ♡ALT+F4 IRL♡ | 32% | 25 |
| #13 | Nose piker | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | jodelexpress (dada) | 24% | 21 |
| #15 | p0ke | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jona | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | jodelexpress (dada) | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | poop | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | _k1ta | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | N1ght1ngale | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jona | 153 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | _k1ta | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Trust1nyou | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | N1ght1ngale | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | jodelexpress (dada) | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jona | +4.40 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | _k1ta | +2.66 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | sharkml | +2.22 | 94 | 75 |
| #4 | Enemies’ Dad | +0.64 | 53 | 15 |
| #5 | martin666 | +0.14 | 67 | 42 |





