








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2541 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3598 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,878 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Grumpy | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | sløyern | 49% | 68 |
| #3 | 156 | 48% | 177 |
| #4 | winchestr | 47% | 93 |
| #5 | Sunshin3 | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jonasak | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | ByProxy | 43% | 134 |
| #10 | Holorama | 39% | 69 |
| #11 | Vikingtiss™ | 35% | 51 |
| #12 | マグナス Häranuuu | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Путин сука | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ByProxy | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 156 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Vikingtiss™ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Sunshin3 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magnus | 491 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | ByProxy | 283 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | 156 | 208 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | winchestr | 177 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Путин сука | 163 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sløyern | +3.00 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | winchestr | +2.42 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | 156 | +0.94 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | ByProxy | +0.70 | 56 | 71 |
| #5 | Mr.Grumpy | +0.44 | 50 | 61 |





