








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1454 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1714 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2573 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2660 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,225 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allahu VACbar | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | winchestr | 54% | 147 |
| #3 | sløyern | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Jonasak | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | 156 | 52% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mr.Grumpy | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | InTheGreek | 47% | 117 |
| #10 | Путин сука | 47% | 113 |
| #11 | Magnus | 47% | 229 |
| #12 | Vikingtiss™ | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ByProxy | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Путин сука | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | sløyern | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | 156 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Magnus | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magnus | 522 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | ByProxy | 332 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | winchestr | 281 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | 156 | 270 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | sløyern | 124 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sløyern | +3.32 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | allahu VACbar | +2.80 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | winchestr | +2.37 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | 156 | +0.38 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Sunshin3 | +0.03 | 57 | 58 |





