








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
3711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2089 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2348 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,530 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allahu VACbar | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | マグナス Häranuuu | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | Sunshin3 | 54% | 147 |
| #4 | 156 | 54% | 197 |
| #5 | Holorama | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Holorama | 53% | 58 |
| #6 | ByProxy | 52% | 193 |
| #7 | Путин сука | 52% | 127 |
| #8 | InTheGreek | 47% | 93 |
| #9 | Magnus | 46% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ByProxy | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | 156 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Путин сука | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Sunshin3 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Magnus | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magnus | 429 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | ByProxy | 363 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | 156 | 257 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Путин сука | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sunshin3 | 97 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allahu VACbar | +2.85 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | winchestr | +2.73 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | マグナス Häranuuu | +1.51 | 88 | 70 |
| #4 | 156 | +0.01 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | ByProxy | -0.28 | 54 | 69 |





