








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2420 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1410 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1473 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,535 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 865 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobsy | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Bot Xitsty cs.money | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | eGirlSlayer666 | 54% | 97 |
| #4 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Snek | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eGirlSlayer666 | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | patty | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Snek | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Baba Yaga | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | patty | 215 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | eGirlSlayer666 | 211 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snek | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | underidoderidoderiododeriodoo | +1.67 | 88 | 33 |
| #2 | tobsy | +1.53 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Hugh G Rection | +1.37 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | eGirlSlayer666 | +0.38 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | patty | +0.14 | 67 | 53 |





