








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1965 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2404 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2016 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 681 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,772 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AlbatrossVol.1 | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | Pudding | 47% | 79 |
| #11 | sv_cheats 1 | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | Mike Nolan | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Tiffany Twisted | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prettyglonky | 18 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Frodo Fraggins | 10 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | USB FLUTSH | 9 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Pudding | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prettyglonky | 225 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Frodo Fraggins | 183 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | 159 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tiffany Twisted | 67 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | USB FLUTSH | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frodo Fraggins | +2.18 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | narcotexx | +1.29 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | USB FLUTSH | +0.82 | 44 | 56 |
| #4 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | +0.66 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Mike Nolan | +0.29 | 74 | 46 |





