








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 932 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 2,159 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2230 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2227 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2882 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,810 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summa | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | ♿ Mønster su ♿ | 63% | 114 |
| #3 | SER1OUS | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | akkaopel | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | BULLSEYE | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SER1OUS | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | akkaopel | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | BULLSEYE | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | Lodin | 57% | 133 |
| #7 | AsiliC | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Mønster su ♿ | 19 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Lodin | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Summa | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | akkaopel | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | BULLSEYE | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lodin | 546 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | ♿ Mønster su ♿ | 403 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Summa | 151 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #4 | BULLSEYE | 133 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | AsiliC | 125 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summa | +5.66 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | Hog | +2.63 | 89 | 53 |
| #3 | akkaopel | +1.60 | 91 | 38 |
| #4 | BULLSEYE | +1.21 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | Lodin | +0.05 | 81 | 62 |





