








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5081 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5310 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3614 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3312 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,732,183 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch/BugzTagem | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Fr0stY | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | retarD | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | slushes | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | R.C. | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | retarD | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | slushes | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | R.C. | 42% | 81 |
| #6 | P did it | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | .:BombeRmAn:. | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .:BombeRmAn:. | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | slushes | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Fr0stY | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | retarD | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | P did it | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .:BombeRmAn:. | 176 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | retarD | 170 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | P did it | 127 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | R.C. | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fr0stY | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarD | +1.28 | 50 | 81 |
| #2 | Nusense𐂃𐂃 | +0.97 | 53 | 69 |
| #3 | slushes | +0.74 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | R.C. | -1.10 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | Fr0stY | -1.44 | 57 | 55 |





