








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4837 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4329 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2673 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3521 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,639,120 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kokis | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Ruupe | 56% | 373 |
| #3 | arsk4b | 55% | 127 |
| #4 | giggleshitter | 51% | 177 |
| #5 | manse | 51% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ruupe | 56% | 373 |
| #3 | arsk4b | 55% | 127 |
| #4 | giggleshitter | 51% | 177 |
| #5 | manse | 51% | 322 |
| #6 | Leewhy | 49% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruupe | 25 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | manse | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Leewhy | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | giggleshitter | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | arsk4b | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruupe | 845 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | manse | 583 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | giggleshitter | 433 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Leewhy | 401 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | arsk4b | 131 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruupe | +2.70 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | manse | +0.78 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Nipa | +0.63 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | arsk4b | -0.15 | 70 | 35 |
| #5 | kokis | -1.24 | 81 | 43 |





