








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1791 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2943 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2436 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,523 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arsk4b | 51% | 81 |
| #2 | Ruupe | 50% | 251 |
| #3 | Nipa | 49% | 225 |
| #4 | manse | 48% | 235 |
| #5 | giggleshitter | 45% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ruupe | 50% | 251 |
| #3 | Nipa | 49% | 225 |
| #4 | manse | 48% | 235 |
| #5 | giggleshitter | 45% | 154 |
| #6 | kokis | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruupe | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | manse | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Nipa | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | giggleshitter | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | arsk4b | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipa | 895 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Ruupe | 572 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | manse | 445 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | giggleshitter | 412 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | arsk4b | 95 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruupe | +2.50 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | manse | +0.99 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Nipa | +0.80 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | arsk4b | -0.37 | 68 | 31 |
| #5 | giggleshitter | -1.29 | 69 | 48 |





