








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




143 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11569 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8717 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7332 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6405 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,301 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GotGames | 56% | 293 |
| #4 | Kim Jung Poon | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Diede | 48% | 40 |
| #6 | 432hz Shaman | 45% | 236 |
| #7 | s0ts | 44% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 432hz Shaman | 56 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | s0ts | 38 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | GotGames | 33 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Kim Jung Poon | 12 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | JD Vance | 10 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GotGames | 525 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | JD Vance | 367 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | Diede | 288 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #4 | s0ts | 272 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | 432hz Shaman | 144 | 0.03 | 2 min |





