








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1278 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,662 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phool ☄ | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | 432hz Shaman | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ✪ laughnmax | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | JD Vance | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | GotGames | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD Vance | 273 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Phool ☄ | 226 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ laughnmax | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | s0ts | 67 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 432hz Shaman | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim Jung Poon | +3.55 | 86 | 34 |
| #2 | GotGames | +1.32 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | Phool ☄ | +0.82 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | JD Vance | +0.31 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ laughnmax | -1.06 | 58 | 64 |





