








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1125 | 23% |
| Smokes | 778 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1562 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,563,627 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD Vance | 56% | 160 |
| #2 | Kim Jung Poon | 51% | 106 |
| #3 | Diede | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | s0ts | 48% | 282 |
| #5 | GotGames | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kim Jung Poon | 51% | 106 |
| #3 | Diede | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | s0ts | 48% | 282 |
| #5 | GotGames | 48% | 63 |
| #6 | Phool ☄ | 45% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phool ☄ | 81 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | s0ts | 70 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Kim Jung Poon | 23 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | GotGames | 19 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | Diede | 15 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phool ☄ | 1053 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | JD Vance | 665 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | s0ts | 575 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Diede | 398 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #5 | GotGames | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim Jung Poon | +3.15 | 85 | 31 |
| #2 | GotGames | +2.47 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | JD Vance | +0.91 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | 432hz Shaman | +0.73 | 75 | 31 |
| #5 | Phool ☄ | +0.25 | 72 | 68 |





