








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4281 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3133 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2377 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2853 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,255 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeffK | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Cool Nian | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | el_heffeh | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | Heartworm | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | Nigersaurus | 59% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Nian | 255 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Heartworm | 220 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | kyzin | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | 你 | 84 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nigersaurus | 81 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | +2.90 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | el_heffeh | +2.29 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | jeffK | +1.67 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | Heartworm | +1.41 | 57 | 57 |
| #5 | kyzin | +1.05 | 72 | 66 |





