








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2817 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2644 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3386 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,437,691 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | M A C | 61% | 36 |
| #7 | BlindedHaze | 60% | 25 |
| #8 | HavoCSoft | 58% | 69 |
| #9 | Goyard | 58% | 132 |
| #10 | Pry | 57% | 72 |





