








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1479 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1077 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,316 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shep | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Thalic | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | DennisRobbman | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Zahzi | 52% | 182 |
| #5 | eoN | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PhizX | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | $upahh | 48% | 48 |
| #9 | Toastiee | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Unsnappy | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | PlugMeInPlz | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zahzi | 734 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | DennisRobbman | 243 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #3 | $upahh | 206 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | shep | 116 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #5 | PhizX | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | system | +1.90 | 91 | 47 |
| #2 | eoN | +1.41 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | DennisRobbman | +1.03 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Thalic | +0.29 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Zahzi | -0.02 | 63 | 65 |





