








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4100 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3973 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3472 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2810 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,791 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGO | 46% | 61 |
| #2 | Swodah | 45% | 107 |
| #3 | Slacko | 42% | 121 |
| #4 | Vyff | 42% | 53 |
| #5 | Nice Killer(DK) | 41% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swodah | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Nice Killer(DK) | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Slacko | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | EGO | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Vyff | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slacko | 260 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Nice Killer(DK) | 192 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vyff | 155 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Swodah | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | EGO | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vyff | +3.67 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | EGO | +3.64 | 58 | 55 |
| #3 | Swodah | +0.52 | 22 | 60 |
| #4 | Nice Killer(DK) | -0.44 | 35 | 60 |
| #5 | Chemno | -0.66 | 23 | 74 |





