








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1711 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2217 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1659 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2267 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,070 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slacko | 45% | 157 |
| #2 | Swodah | 45% | 123 |
| #3 | Vyff | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | EGO | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Chemno | 41% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chemno | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | EGO | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Swodah | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Vyff | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Slacko | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chemno | 552 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Slacko | 323 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vyff | 239 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | EGO | 231 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Swodah | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vyff | +4.04 | 55 | 73 |
| #2 | EGO | +3.70 | 59 | 55 |
| #3 | Swodah | +0.56 | 21 | 61 |
| #4 | Nice Killer(DK) | -0.29 | 32 | 59 |
| #5 | Chemno | -0.71 | 21 | 74 |





