








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5225 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5712 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6576 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5515 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,275,638 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGO | 45% | 53 |
| #2 | Nice Killer(DK) | 45% | 157 |
| #3 | Swodah | 45% | 278 |
| #4 | Vyff | 44% | 79 |
| #5 | Chemno | 42% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Swodah | 45% | 278 |
| #4 | Vyff | 44% | 79 |
| #5 | Chemno | 42% | 121 |
| #6 | Kempo | 39% | 56 |
| #7 | VeryDoc | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chemno | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Swodah | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Vyff | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Nice Killer(DK) | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | EGO | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swodah | 382 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | Chemno | 358 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Vyff | 261 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nice Killer(DK) | 170 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kempo | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vyff | +4.86 | 56 | 70 |
| #2 | EGO | +2.90 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | Swodah | +1.18 | 23 | 60 |
| #4 | Nice Killer(DK) | +0.22 | 31 | 59 |
| #5 | Chemno | -0.25 | 24 | 72 |





