








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2741 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2606 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2030 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2874 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,422 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby ♡ | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | ghost go faceit | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | adamS | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | Ag3NtK | 60% | 124 |
| #5 | Rafex78 | 57% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ag3NtK | 31 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Rafex78 | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Derpy | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | adamS | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Kirby ♡ | 5 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ag3NtK | 835 | 0.34 | 24 min |
| #2 | Rafex78 | 592 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Derpy | 217 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | wopzie- YKz’ | 115 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | adamS | 112 | 0.13 | 4 min |





