










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1165 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1332 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,387 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dav1g ACORN ANIMAL UNLEASHED | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | jUNiOR 我 | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | ezetapsss | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Kirby ♡ | 65% | 57 |
| #5 | Tore | 63% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jUNiOR 我 | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | ezetapsss | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Kirby ♡ | 65% | 57 |
| #5 | Tore | 63% | 43 |
| #6 | MartinezSa | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby ♡ | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Tore | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartinezSa | 186 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tore | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kirby ♡ | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | jUNiOR 我 | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ezetapsss | 38 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adamS | +4.33 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | MartinezSa | +2.71 | 96 | 70 |
| #3 | dav1g ACORN ANIMAL UNLEASHED | +1.16 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | Tore | -0.24 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | ezetapsss | -0.61 | 77 | 75 |





