








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6111 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5745 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4397 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4192 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,217,386 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | frenchcore abuser | 51% | 108 |
| #7 | hydes | 47% | 317 |
| #8 | xoticdr1p | 46% | 114 |
| #9 | Menchies | 44% | 55 |
| #10 | Leroy | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yahtzee! | 47 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | hydes | 41 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Leroy | 23 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | Menchies | 12 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Daqqqy | 11 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Louis | 425 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | frenchcore abuser | 338 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | hydes | 331 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | xoticdr1p | 328 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Yahtzee! | 313 | 0.14 | 7 min |





