








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1131 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3567 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,114 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sniper btw | 90 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Leroy | 44 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Yahtzee! | 35 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | mr busto | 34 | 0.0178 |
| #5 | Daqqqy | 14 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sniper btw | 602 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | mr busto | 354 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Yahtzee! | 198 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Daqqqy | 181 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Leroy | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |





