








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2446 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,961 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Noname | 54% | 125 |
| #6 | CowBot | 53% | 178 |
| #7 | vi11a | 49% | 71 |
| #8 | deecho | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | amarusol | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CowBot | 412 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Noname | 326 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | LOW ELO DOG | 245 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | vi11a | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yahtzeee! | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.50 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | LOW ELO DOG | +2.16 | 53 | 59 |
| #3 | eazy | +1.83 | 68 | 41 |
| #4 | vi11a | +1.41 | 81 | 45 |
| #5 | Hydes | -0.92 | 57 | 49 |





