








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8779 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8272 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 15882 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 10720 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,524 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mikeycharan | 52% | 671 |
| #7 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 52% | 697 |
| #8 | Mr_K | 52% | 99 |
| #9 | CheeTing | 52% | 264 |
| #10 | FieRy | 50% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★NΞØ★ | 22 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 22 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | CheeTing | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Mikeycharan | 12 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 1933 | 0.13 | 51 min |
| #2 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 1768 | 0.15 | 43 min |
| #3 | ★NΞØ★ | 1562 | 0.09 | 36 min |
| #4 | Mikeycharan | 1091 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #5 | CheeTing | 881 | 0.16 | 20 min |





