








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4419 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3861 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1214 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,593 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FieRy | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 52% | 138 |
| #7 | ЯIИZLΞЯ_Avtomat Kalashnikova | 52% | 264 |
| #8 | Mikeycharan | 50% | 256 |
| #9 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 48% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ★NΞØ★ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Mikeycharan | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ЯIИZLΞЯ_Avtomat Kalashnikova | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЯIИZLΞЯ_Avtomat Kalashnikova | 549 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 463 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Mikeycharan | 433 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | ★NΞØ★ | 431 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 411 | 0.14 | 9 min |





